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She's probably a lezzie.

Bob Saget played Ronald McDonald in the commercials.

Yeah, the private video thing keeps us from watching.

That is quite physically impossible. Little sisters are never cool.

Only children are great because you can just see the false sense of invincibility that family life has left them with.

I want this movie to be shown on planes. It's going to be awesome. Captain: Uh, folks, sorry to interrupt, but it appears we have snakes on the pane. Passengers: Lollerskates! Captain: This is no joke. THERE ARE MOTHERFUCKIN' SNAKES ON THIS MOTHERFUCKIN' PLANE! Stewardesses: [toss fake/real snakes into aisles]

I have sister the same age. I share your pain.

How old is she?

How do you not sound like an absolute idiot saying something like that?

I can tell, Lauren. Here is an example of a conversation in calculus class about earthquakes. Adam: You know the Pickering Nuclear Plant is built on two geographic fault lines? Dumbass: What? Adam: The pickering nuclear plant. It's built on two ge-o-graph-ic fault lines. Dumbass: Built on two whats? Adam: It's built on two cracks that go to the centre of the earth.

I wish I had tons of money.

I feel exactly the same way. I hate when dumber people slow down my progress when they could easily learn what they need to from the textbook or from the teacher. That's where I learn from, it's not that hard.

I pick up all my tiny change.

So he can get his M coupe. This is going to rock. Righteously.

What is a "hippie accent"?

Wha? Collections? I never had any collections as a kid. I must have missed out on something.

I would have thought the late teen to early twenty set would have scored higher in the horny department.

What can I say? I have a unique appeal with the balding set.

There's a 41 year old man out there out to get me.

I play guitar. And saxophone. Matthew Good would transfer over to the saxophone rather well, I think.

Look, Evan, we're all friends here. Is there something you want to tell us? EDIT: There is a serious amount of "evan likes dick" going on over there. Wow.

Clearly, guys named Brandon suck. They aren't quite up to par with guys named Adam. 297543404 theres this guy named adam that i have totally loved ever since i first met him. he goes to my church. i used to make it so that wed always accidentaly bump into each other so he would at least say "hi" to me. then i started listening in on his conversations with other people and finding things out about him. then, he became friends with one of my friends, so i got to talk to him more often. every chance id get id ask him so many questions about himself. one day, i found his house, rang the doorbell to make sure nobody was home, then walked into the backyard and found the window to his room. it was locked so i couldnt go in. so i took a picture of it and left. i know more about him than even himself. and i still find myself stalking him. i go into his work to buy a cd at least once a week just so he'll notice me.

Step 1: go to www.grouphug.us Step 2: search for your name Step 3: Share the best ones. 157469362 i love adam! he's hot and all mine and you can't have him. the end. 942013682 I'm going to hump Adam in 13 days and you aren't. Plus, boys, his penis is probably bigger than all of yours. RAWR. 309066380 i hate you adam and i hope you fucking die. 176740344 i love you adam. 941221771 Adam is my hero. (Because of the ninjas.) 736927764 adam, all you have to do is ask me, i'll say yes. 254511741 adam, i am so totally, utterly, completely infatuated with you. i need you, i want you, can i have you? 132850997 I'm sorry, I knew it was Adam who puked all over your computer room. i didn't want to say it, i thought he would confess (or at least offer to help clean it up). He didn't. And now after all this I see that his little lie was just one small symptom of his layer upon layer of fault. 947703989 adam, please just ask me, you know the answer. 607096785 adam i'm so in love with you 829585021 im in love with adam 862543441 I just want to kiss him again. Hold him again. I just want to tell him how i feel. Adam i love you 644129915 i'm in love with Adam. It's killing me since i know i'll never get to be with him. 660426797 Im in love with you adam,Sorry. 216868060 why is it that the less attention you give me, the more i want you? i love you adam 786934070 adam i want you to be my first 585021257 I have nothing to do. Ever. I need a life. I love you Adam. wink wink nudge nudge! 421058772 i'm completely in love with a girl i can never have. fuck you, adam. 861698238 I love Adam. I think about him all the time, I can't wait to get married to him. 826709846 adam, i'm so in love with you it's ridiculous... malli 633150944 He loves me, I dispise him. I want my ex, I might still love him, but I dont care about that. I just want him. As for adam; I just want him for my friend. He hates as much as I do, and hes so amusing to toy with. 366463267 Adam...more like A-damn for how much you bother me. How cheesy to write A-damn. You are so spastic though. You either do or you don't...argh. 322322837 Man....there is this one kid that i really fucking hate......actually its my brother.....adam. hopefully he doesn't read this, cause then he might beat my ass next time i see him. ;) 970288098 Why did my parents have to name me Adam? Couldn't they think of some other name? I really wish they would have given me a cool name such as Rex or Ike. Whew, feels good to get that off my chest. 226075323 i love adam again.... 918939718 Adam DOES have an unhealthy ninja fixation. But so does every straight guy. Myself included. Ninja are the best. 375515962 adam is the most perfect guy i ever met. i really hope he is into me. i just wanna get to know him better, and see what happens. 318598142 i'd like my obit to read something like: Adam ***** **** fell to a hail of gunfire from the P*** police this morning at 12:01am after a 2 hour car chase followed by a 10 minute standoff. All that knew him say that he lived without hesitation and consequence. Though death captured him at the young age of 25 he was wise beyond his years through his experiences. He was loved by many and will be missed by even more. He lived with passion. 666352583 i am scared that adam hacked my computer and can see everything i'm writing all the time. please adam, stop. 492964121 i wish adam loved me as much as i loved him. id have sex with him in a heartbeat. 249947006 thank you adam for making me horny right before i haveHAVEhave to go to sleep. you do know i have school in the morning right? 158149598 I like you a lot Adam. I haven't talked to you in forever, but the few times i've seen you this year have been amazing even though we hardly say anything. You are cute, awesome, funny, and just i don't know what makes you rock so much but its something and I like it. 536742502 ive secretly been having inapropriate feelings about this guy called adam, only problem is hes in my band and i dont knwo what he'd do if i knobed him in his sleep 468971580 Je t'aime toujous, M. Adam 313355474 I want Adam to fuck me, he's a 12 year old boy and I'm a 36 year old man. 184003433 i love adam. 557282058 i masturbate with whipped cream and chocolate syrup i make a adam sundae 264681292 i love adam but i cant do ANYTHING about it. 138538604 so i love adam but so does like 15 people what makes me think he'd ever go for me? nothing. fuuuucccckkk! 647654221 I'd like Adam to stop taking this piss out of me please. 820353420 I hate Adam, I will do anything and everything to destroy your band & you. Don't ever bother me again, or so help me God. At least one of those has to be about me.

That's for me to know and you to find out.

We don't. We take our ethnic stereotype very seriously.