mrs jesus

oh. so you're having a midlife crisis? i can't wait to have one of those.

LISTEN ASSHOLE IT ISN'T MY FAULT YOU ARE TURNING 40 AND HAVE BEEN BALD FOR 20 YEARS, OK? god. you're so rude! ;)

did you just tell me to use proper punctuation?

oh, right. see what i did about that problem was moved back in with my mom. who cares if other people think it's lame? fuck a bunch of responsibility. there's time for that when i turn 50.

oh really? which aspects of it are you avoiding?

what's up, fucker? where you been?

i haven't a clue. i think i'd rather matt come up with a name for it himself though 'cause i mean, i'm just the muse, you know? raining* blood. from a lacerated sky, no doubt.

i love ironing!

i'm a fan. i'd rather him just record whatever he wants. maybe he could write a song about me though. and record that. it would be the best song ever. there would be a lot of cursing in it i bet.

dude, you ride dinosaurs? like what kind? i like a nice triceratops myself.

hahahaha. the bitch that should be in the kitchen. wait, what am i talking about? ;)

god. maybe i'm glad i'm in texas so i DON'T have to see people mosh to apparitions. that's the gayest thing i've ever heard. but also mildly appealing, like a velvet elvis. i wonder if matt ever wishes he could choose his own fans. like line everybody up and say ok, you can stay. you, get the fuck out. you, welcome aboard. you, get on outta here. and so on. until he has chosen an army of folks, worthy of rocking the fuck out to his sweet jams. that would be pretty hot. i bet i would not make the grade. wait, i'm fucking awesome. i'd be laughing at the rest of you from my front row NOT MOSHING TO APPARITIONS position center stage where matt could totally like sweat on me OMGOMGOMG *swoon*. sigh. ps is shouting 'rico' sort of like shouting 'free bird' or 'SLAYERRRRRRR!!!' ?

i never make a wishlist. i just put a bunch of shit in my internet cart and then click save for later and then 6 months down the line i delete it all cause i didn't ever want that stupid crap in the first place.

you guys ask the most boring questions ever. if i were matt, i would roll my eyes at all of you and then give up my music career altogether because my fans were a bunch of boring shit eaters. but then again, i'm kind of a bitch.

sigh. i wish i could tell you how many times i've heard that.

this is what i think: the one for your gf is funny. gay jesus looks like badmotorfinger era chris cornell. overall, tshirt hell is fucking lame and you are too old for that shit. waste your money elsewhere.

oh sweet because i just asked you about them in a PRIVATE MESSAGE. they make me want to live in the desert forever with the cactus and scorpions and rattlesnakes and too much sky and too much sand and lots of nachos and corona. they make me want a velvet elvis.

i know but i never download stuff. i don't even know WHERE to download stuff. whatever you have that you don't mind uploading, i wouldn't mind having. but i've lived without it for awhile so don't go puttin' yourself out. also, i can't stop listening to calexico.

bitch, please.

you fucker, i was gonna ask you to upload that shit. i long for some crowes.

when i saw them earlier this month they played 3 new songs. they were fucking great, too. so while they are not recording yet - they are most certainly in writing mode, which is good news right? god, i wish you could see them live, chris. seriously unlike any band i have ever seen.

;) so good. so, so good.

scarlett? seriously? you could totally play anne hathaway in a movie about anne hathaway but i cannot see the scarlett comparison. unless it's strictly in that massive rack of yours.

oh fuck off. it is not.

who the fuck ARE you?