Doormat

ROTK...For the battle scenes. That's it.

With Guitar riff...But the one in Rooms had random sound recordings...But that's all it had goin'...:/

I'd say Advertising on Police Cars. I can't sing that high, but then again, beats being a castrated choirboy.

Ex Pats...Man from Harold Wood (I wouldn't call that a song), and finally, Alabama Hotel Room.

All Around the Watch Tower-Jimi Hendrix

Suburbia

Why don't you just buy one, who would sell a mint condition/packaged iPod nano for anything ceaper than a normal price?

Narnia...Kinda lame. The most funny part was when the lion eats the Witch's head.

At my most beautiful - R.E.M.

Wait...They post tabs, but what about piano parts?

You can set the oil (red) sand on fire ;)

k accidental double post so...ill fill it with some more quotes Mom always told me I could be whatever I wanted to be when I grew up, "within reason." When I asked her what she meant by "within reason," she said, "You ask a lot of questions for a garbage man." One year Dad decided he was going to take us on a "surprise vacation." We wouldn't know where we were going until we got there. We were all real excited when we piled into the station wagon early one morning. We went about five blocks, then we got in an accident at a four-way stop. I guess it was a pretty good surprise, but why did we need all that camping gear? I used to think Mom's biscuits were special, because she said she put a secret ingredient in them. Years later I asked her what the secret ingredient was, and she said it was "love." Right then I felt like the biggest sucker in the world.

Here's another of Jack's hilarious stories... I'll never forget the time I got caught stealing watermelons from old Mr. Barnslow's watermelon patch. I was with my friend Bobby. We were giggling so hard I thought I'd wet my pants! At first we tried to steal two watermelons each, but they were too heavy and we dropped them, and that made us laugh even harder. Finally, we each picked out a good one, and we were just about to sneak back through the fence when we heard a low, deep voice behind us. "Just where do you think you're going with those watermelons?" I gulped and turned around. It was old Mr. Barnslow, pointing his shotgun at us. Bobby dropped his watermelon, then pulled out the .38 revolver he kept in his waist, turned, and fired. But the turning must have thrown off his aim, because the shot only hit Mr. Barnslow in the thigh. Mr. Barnslow immediately fired both barrels at Bobby. One blast of buckshot missed entirely, but the other tore into Bobby's shoulder. He tried to fire back, but his shoulder was so torn up he couldn't raise his arm. Just as he was trying to switch to his left hand, Mr. Barnslow ran up and cracked him across the face with the butt of his shotgun. Bobby fell to the ground in a heap. Mr. Barnslow raised the butt of his gun to finish him off, but just then Bobby pulled out his hunting knife and plunged it into the farmer's big white belly. After that, I don't think I stole watermelons for at least a year. p.s. ecnarf - thanks a lot for the nf$

Just for the matter, it's not mine...Jack Handey wrote it...Funniest guy I know. I also have all his books ;)

Jack Handey Story I remember I was hammering on a fence in the backyard when Dad approached. He was carrying a letter or something in his hand, and he looked worried. I continued to hammer as he came toward me. "Son," he said, "why are you hammering on that fence? It already has plenty of nails in it." "Oh, I'm not using nails," I replied. "I'm just hammering." With that, I returned to my hammering. Dad asked me to stop hammering, as he had some news. I did stop hammering, but first I got a couple more hammers in, and this seemed to make Dad mad. "I said, stop hammering!" he yelled. I think he felt bad for yelling at me, especially since it looked like he had bad news. "Look," he said, "you can hammer later, but first-" Well, I didn't even wait to hear the rest. As soon as I heard "You can hammer," that's what I started doing. Hammering away, happy as an old hammer dog. Dad tried to physically stop me from hammering by inserting a small log of some sort between my hammer and the fence. But I just kept on hammering, 'cause that's the way I am when I get that hammer going. Then, he just grabbed my arm and made me stop. "I'm afraid I have some news for you," he said. I swear, what I did next was not hammering. I was just letting the hammer swing lazily at arm's length, and maybe it tapped the fence once or twice, but that's all. That apparently didn't make any difference whatsoever to Dad, because he just grabbed my hammer out of my hand and flung it across the field. And when I saw my hammer flying helplessly through the air like that, I just couldn't take it. I burst out crying, I admit it. And I ran to the house, as fast as my legs could take me. "Son, come back!" yelled Dad. "What about your hammer?!" But I could not have cared less about hammering at that point. I ran into the house and flung myself onto my bed, pounding the bed with my fists. I pounded and pounded, until finally, behind me, I heard a voice. "As long as you're pounding, why not use this?" I turned, and it was Dad, holding a brand-new solid-gold hammer. I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes and ran to Dad's outstretched arms. But suddenly, he jumped out of the way, and I went sailing through the second-story window behind him. Whenever I hear about a kid getting in trouble with drugs, I like to tell him this story.

I use earbuds for everything...Games, music, etc. You can actually hear things with one earbud in, so you won't get owned by a truck whilst crossing the road. Also, people won't get pissed after yelling at you to do something for 4 minutes and smack you in the face because your headphones block out everything.

Wow. Random retarded responses. Great.

But in Lullaby for the new world order he makes references to "god" Somebody gave you a choice And all you do is abuse it If god gave you a voice Then use it

AOPC: Like a burning sky dropped to the ocean

Just a question...is Matt religious?

Haven't even heard of achtung o.0

Our trivial problems are more important than any crisis in the world. Let's say for example, the fact that my dog died is more important than several children in a third world country died in a horrible school fire. Being self centered is almost part of being human.

It's because it's human nature to be ignorant. Millions of people died in a tsunami? Civilians being bombed to shit? Who cares? *Listens to IPod, talks on cellphone, and plays PSP*

Space shows just how damned insignificant we are. Squabbles and wars will be worth nothing once we get boned by a passing meteour.

Put sparkles on a guys chair so he had a sparkly ass all day... It took him 2 hours to find out what people were laughing at him. What was the best excuse that you ever made up?