Doormat

One time...A friend bought me a Dave Matthew's Band book. Yeah...It ended up being returned.

Apparently (according to the Province newspaper) Materazzi said something about Zidane's mother... Z: You suck M: Like your mom! Z: (Headbutts)

I had a dream I was running around a playground with an m16...Yeah. Shooting "bad guys."

I hate stoners. And wannabe poets.

Bubble gum shouldn't even be a flavour. It's like simulating an artifical flavour.

At the start of every show it's like "The stunts and illusions performed..." So they state it's not true.

Bright End of Nowhere - Matthew Good

"You run faster backwards"

More like a frog.

You need a silencer. And NO the potato doesn't cut it.

Well, that's a surprise, a french guy attacking someone...I'm surprised he didn't get a yellow card. Frickin' pansy.

When you jump, the earth accelerates a bit to meet you as well.

Jack Handey: "What makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid gold baby? Maybe we'll never know" "Of all my imaginary friends, I don't think there was one that I didn't end up having to kill." "Life is a constant battle between the heart and the brain, but guess who wins: the skeleton."

David Usher- Too Close to the Sun

Chinese sweatshops

7 ate nine 9 (out)

The clapping in golf is so...enthusiastic...

Yes there is. Get back to the kitchen.

I always pondered the question of where babies come from. But now, I know that they come from eggs.

To quote Jack Handey, "I'd like to see a James Bond movie where James Bond gets behind financially and maybe has to take out a bill consolidation loan, because even when he's applying for the loan he's still real smart-alecky."

Play the riff from the live version of Avalanche...Now that's a riff...

I've never gotten grounded...I've been banned from computer for a year though...

You're a retread...Sorry, I mean a retard.

3/10 Beastality in a threesome is ALWAYS wrong.

Omg they LOST to Carolina...And Ottawa LOST to the Chicken Wings...'Tis a sad day.