Exciting Occupations

[matrix]

If you're going to be a bikini wax inspector, why not just be a gynecologist?

[Guest jsunC]

Because that takes a lot more education.... and when you're a bikini wax inspector, you're only gonna be inspecting FREAKING BIKINI MODELS, not every old lady that walks into your office.

[ecnarf]

Or venereal disease-carrying whore.

[Ryan44]

cough* grenade eater.

what is with you and eating grenades?

call me gross, but it would be sweet to see someone blowup from inside out. cmon!

[matrix]

ecnarf: "Or venereal disease-carrying whore."

 

 

You don't like whores much, do you?

 

 

edit: for not using the quote button properly.

Edited June 7, 2006 by matrix

[Guest jsunC]

edit: for not using the quote button properly.

it get's the better of the best of us at times.

[Ravenous megin-sane]

cough* grenade eater.

what is with you and eating grenades?

call me gross, but it would be sweet to see someone blowup from inside out. cmon!

that's terrible. it would be an interesting, short lived career though

[Ryan44]

see interesting! i got u hooked on the idea of eating grenades. if someone u know is gonna do it. call me.

[Stryfe]

How bout' bounty hunter.... you could apprentice yourself to "Dog" and get on tv at the same time.

[RicardoObviouso]

i feel dirty watching that show.

 

 

 

 

his hair scares me.

[Stryfe]

I know, it's like an extra long mullet.

[RicardoObviouso]

its teased like my aunt's who is still living in the 80s.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i hate that woman.

[ecnarf]

You could become a chemist and then apply your l337 chemical skills to beer.

 

Seriously, light beer was invented by a chemist.

[RicardoObviouso]

INVENTED?

i believe innovated would be the correct term, considering they just altering a substance that has already been invented.

 

 

check this out... i dont want to start a new thread because new threads are funkin ghey.

 

first thing this morning my secretary is lying on my couch in my office (i took the day off from that stupid coporate job i agreed to) and she looks over at me with those sexy eyes and smile and says "evan, if you could say one word to describe how much you like me, what would it be?". i refused to answer, and that was it until 20 minutes ago she calls me on the extension line and says "sp do you have an answer for me?'

 

 

i'm stumped.. what should i say?

[ecnarf]

If it's going to be just one word, make sure it's in a foreign language. Romantic + mysterious + she'll never know any better.

 

P.S. Invented is probably the right term. BTW, "light beer" is meant in the American sense, where it's low on carbs, not low on alcohol.

[RicardoObviouso]

invent - to produce or contrive something previously unknown

innovate - to begin or introduce something new

 

 

 

and by light beer everyone would assume you meant light as in tastes like water but gets you shittered. aka coors light, bud light, etc.

[ecnarf]

"Quidditas" is a good term to use for Little Miss Secretary. Comes from Latin.

 

Literally, it means "whatness" and makes absolutely zero sense. Your job is to come up with some obscure meaning the Ancient Romans used for it.

[RicardoObviouso]

i think she wants me to say "love". she's coming around.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(i dont know what it is)

[silentshadow]

bear wrestler, but only if you wear a gravy suit

Mmmmmm... Me love gravy!

 

 

 

What about training sharks to give eskimo kisses while having a bloody nose?

[matrix]

Do the eskimos have bloody noses, or the sharks?

[Computer]

If it's going to be one word, then it's got to be " floccinaucinihilipilification" which is defined as "the act of estimating (something) as worthless"

[RicardoObviouso]

i ended up staying at my office until around 11:30 last night trying to finish off that corporate bullshit. annbella passed out on the couch and i ended up falling asleep at my desk. i guess she woke up and saw me asleep so she came to my desk and started talking to me. subconsiously i could hear what she was saying but it wasnt registering in my head. then i woke up and said "what did you say?" she laughed and said "nothing". i said "did you say 'do you love me?'" and she said "yeah. i love you. do you love me?" and i said "yes".

 

i dont know why.

 

 

i walked her to her car watched her drive away then went home and passed out. this morning she sent me a message at around 6:30am (she knew i was on the course) saying "do you remember last night... i cant wait to see you"

 

 

i think i'm gonna sleep with my assistant tonight.

[ecnarf]

Bow chicka bow bow...

[RicardoObviouso]

and the thing is, she is the kind of woman who likes candles and wine and fireplace and dim lights and massage oil. i WILL take pics.

[ecnarf]

You are the worst kind of human being.