I Humped Your Hummer

[ecnarf]

That settles it; I'm getting a hummer.

[no yu begin wher i end]

it's funny how people always say shit like that, yet when it comes time for their money to start rolling in, a sweet car is the first thing on most people's list.

There's a difference between a sweet car and a giant-ass car.

[RicardoObviouso]

some people think hummers are sweet. they also happen to be "giant-ass"

 

 

and to be fair.. if you're ging to classify any car as a penis extension, it would have to be the viper.

[ecnarf]

Or a Corvette. That's what I always tell people (read: women who don't understand cars). But nobody gets it. You might as well say a Ferrari is a penis extension. But they're not, they're works of art. Or if you're Jeremy Clarkson, "a scaled down version of God".

[RicardoObviouso]

i think you called me a scaled down version of god once.

[ecnarf]

That was your overactive imagination and inflated opinion of yourself at work.

[RicardoObviouso]

if you didnt have over five thousand posts, i'd go searching.

[garsk]

it reminds me of an old saturday night live commerical where they had sex with a car. but not overly funny.

[RicardoObviouso]

FOUND IT!.....

ok.

 

 

i contacted a company called stripper (strippernet.com) and they allow rental of girls for parties... what the girls do is completely up to them. he said they're regular rate is $200 for 2 hours, but if i wanted 150 women, he said the $1000/each could have them for all 12 hours.

a banquet hall in pan pacific was quoted at $11,500 for 12 hours including 50 bottles of champagne. they said they could outsource the whole wall to wall bed thing, and their events guy would get back to me, he got in touch with me about 2 hours later and said probably close to $25,000 for the beds, including delivery, set up, removal and washing. he said $24,000 if he could join in. i declined. so its $25,000.

fantasy factory quoted 150 sex toy gift baskets at $200 each, but also said they would donate 50 more and all the condoms i needed if i would hang banners throughout the banquet hall. so that brings the overall pice down to $150. so $30,000 for that.

i called a few production companies... the best quote i got was for 3 cameras, lights, grips, labour, editing and finishing of 12 hours worth of footage to be close to $13,750.

 

a whopping grand total of:

 

$230,250

 

 

 

pretty much leaves me with two options... either reinvest the remaining $19,750 and try to make over $250,000 with it in a very short time (not impossible, but highly unlikely) or use that 20g's for research into finding a cure for previously unknown STDs that were created, and then just pay back the 1/4 mil from an equity loan on my house.

 

needless to say, its been an eventful day.

You are a scaled-down version of God.

 

 

 

i knew that 'search' tool would come in useful one day.

Edited August 6, 2006 by one_trick_pony

[ecnarf]

Having a Ferrari personality type isn't necessarily a good thing.

 

But when I save up 230K, forget retirement. I'm going to do that and die a happy but poor man.

[RicardoObviouso]

who says you need to "save up" to get that kind of money?

[ecnarf]

Are you implying I could just sell my body or work in a crime ring to earn that money quickly enough? Or have you just lost your financial footings?

[RicardoObviouso]

i'm implying that there are time efficient ways of producing 230 thousand dollars. neither saving up nor working 40/40 are one of them.

[ecnarf]

So... selling my body on the street, then?

[Corrinshwa]

That or drugs....how attractive are ya? You need to decide which would get you the most money quickly.

[ecnarf]

That depends whether I'm selling myself to men or women.

 

Factors involved:

 

If I'm selling myself to men, I'll need to take drugs in order to save myself from mental scarring.

 

If I'm selling myself to ugly women, ditto. That'll cut back on profit.

 

Question: Is it okay to stand out on a street corner with a sign around your neck saying "No fat chicks"?

[Corrinshwa]

...not only is it okay, but I will double your profits because I'm pretty sure watching you get chased by really fat women while you have the sign around your neck would be hilarious.

[saturnine]

Girls will claim that they're penis cars, but they're not.  They're suburban status symbols, not nearly the same as a penis car.

Well, they're penis cars in the sense that if you own one, then there's an 80% chance that you're compensating for a small penis.

i find that probably 50% of the current H2/H3 owners are female, whereas 100% of H1 owners are males.

[RicardoObviouso]

that is fuckin true.

 

 

 

women also seem to love the denali.

[mrs jesus]

i love the cock.

[ecnarf]

that is fuckin true.

 

 

 

women also seem to love the denali.

"Oh, but it's pretty!"

 

The same thing with the big ring obsession. Status symbols to let everyone know how rich they are.

[Corrinshwa]

I know someone who proposed to his girlfriend and she said "I want a bigger ring, but okay"....and he still married her. Next they will buy many Hummers!

Edited August 7, 2006 by Corrinshwa

[ecnarf]

And have many children.

 

Surrogate or adoption only, though, she's clearly "too posh to push".

[RicardoObviouso]

i know.....i know.

[no yu begin wher i end]

Hummer.

 

Penis car ;) ?