Insults

[Prometheon]

Probably the best insult I've ever heard was from a friend of mine named Riley. We were driving somewhere, and somehow we got on the topic of this girl named Morgan. She was an aquaintance of mine, and I asked him what he thought of her. His reply?

 

"OH MY FUCKING GOD! Morgan is SO goddamned ugly! Owen, if I had to choose between having sex with her or beating her to death with a brick, I'd have to think about it."

 

The tone, pacing and delivery was jsut perfect, and the entire car just lost it.

 

One of my personal favorite insults is 'yeast-infected cum-bubble.' Busting that out when someone is getting on your nerves usually makes them shut up for a second as they visualize it and then feel like idiots.

 

Share your stories, insults, etc.

[RicardoObviouso]

last night i was at the edgewater casino with annabella and a couple guys that work for my ex's dad's online casino. he was sitting at the poker table and the waitress came over to ask if we wanted anything to drink. at first he said "sure, get me a molitov cocktail because when im done you're gonna want to burn this place down". which was funny but not really an insult... she came back later and asked again and he said "yeah get this guy beside me a basic strategy card, he sucks" the WHOLE table burst out in laughter, except for the insultee, of course.

Edited June 10, 2006 by one_trick_pony

[Kyle86]

one time my buddy impregnated this chick... and thanks to pro-choice that was the end of that... either way, one day she saw him at a bar and said "FUCK YOU!" to which my friend replied...

 

"No, honey, we played that game already, you lost."

 

I thought it was funny.

[RicardoObviouso]

one time my buddy impregnated this chick... and thanks to pro-choice that was the end of that... either way, one day she saw him at a bar and said "FUCK YOU!" to which my friend replied...

 

"No, honey, we played that game already, you lost."

 

I thought it was funny.

oh my fuckin lord.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

that is awesome.... so awesome that i almost want to make the commitment of impregnating a woman just to say that.

[Prometheon]

I've always wanted to be dating a chick I don't really like on New Years, so when she asks me what my resolution is I can look her straight in the eyes and say "to be single."

[no yu begin wher i end]

Just go up to some random girl on the street or in the hallway at school and ask her who the father is.

[Lauren]

i would cry if someone said that to me.

[matrix]

I rather fond of my new insult....bitchfucker. It's a cross between bitch and motherfucker. I think it works rather well.

[Prometheon]

Another favorite with my group is 'bitch********'. It seems extremely offensive at first glance, until you realize we're all white and only say it to each other. 'Filthy Cur' is also a popular one, as well as 'tool.'

[WalrusMeat]

I prefer the good old term 'Douche'

 

Of course, 'Cum dumpster' will always be one of my favorites.

[ecnarf]

Douchebag is an excellent term. It lets people know that they are faggots without implying that they are homosexual.

[Ryan44]

shit fag. or any two insults or swears mixed.

[jtb]

I think any insult that implys that the other person is a compleat and utter moron is always good...

 

kinda like telling someone that you once knew a blonde smarter then they are.

[little miss sunshine]

My friend went up to a teacher at school and said that he had to ask a stupid question. The teacher said "there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who ask questions." Classic

[Prometheon]

Wow, someone edited out the racial slur in my thrid post. Harsh.

[jtb]

I told my friend once that a brick was smarter then he was because it had the date stamped on it..

 

funny yes or no?

[Computer]

No. No it is not.

[jtb]

Haha figured as much

[Monochrome Rainbow]

One time I was at this party with a few friends in a small town close to the one I grw up in (anyone that lives in an area where there are little towns close together, you probably know that in most cases these towns a bitter to each other for some stupid reason).

 

Anyway, my buddy had this huge farm and we had a concert in a field pretty much, lots of kegs, it was a good time. This fucknut recognizes me and knows I'm not from the area and we're both walking the same direction so he backs up a step so that I nudge into him. Then he flies into me calling me a ******** and cocksucker and whatever else comes to him and is trying to provoke me to hit him. I fuckin' hate idiots like this and I normally just walk away as I'm a pretty quiet person.

 

Anyway, I looked at him and calmly said, "You're a waste of my fuckin' time and energy. Fuck off, you're just a part of the load your mother should have swallowed."

 

I walked off and I think some random guy just started beating him down (that's what everyone was saying the next few days) because a bit of a drunken brawl ensued.

[Ryan44]

that is a really good one. i had a really good one that was kinda like that, and now i just forgot it. so everyone check back when i remember, u will all be amazed!

[ecnarf]

I'll hold my breath.

[Hoverball]

My friend went up to a teacher at school and said that he had to ask a stupid question. The teacher said "there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who ask questions." Classic

The teacher was Mr. Garrison on South Park...probably a recycled joke. But it's all good.

[no yu begin wher i end]

Anyway, I looked at him and calmly said, "You're a waste of my fuckin' time and energy. Fuck off, you're just a part of the load your mother should have swallowed."

That, sir, is gold.