Best Joke

[sodamntired]

just post a very funny joke. let's see if we can't find the greatest joke ever told...........by the bored posters.

 

mine:

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator:

[AnOceanPearl]

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar and the first says "I think I lost my electron!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm positive!"

[Hyphnip]

Your mother?

[Prometheon]

Why was the jazz orchestra banned? Too much sax and violins.

[Crusader]

two termites walk into a bar...

 

your mother's a whore.

[sodamntired]

new rule:

rate the joke of the person above you.

 

that one....2/10

next!

[LonelyWreckage]

What flies and wobbles?

A jellycopter.

[shade]

Why don't old people have sex?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ever tried prying open a grilled cheese sandwich.

[Prometheon]

What happens when a Jewish dude with a 12-inch raging erection runs straight into a brick wall?

 

 

 

He breaks his nose.

 

 

 

Edit: And Shade... that's just nasty.

Edited April 22, 2009 by Prometheon

[ToadMan]

What is the difference between an incontinent prostitute and an epileptic corn husker?

 

The corn husker shucks between fits.

[Audio of Being]

There was a fly flying six inches over the lake.

 

At the same time there was a fish in the water that was gonna jump up and eat the fly when it came over.

 

At the same time there's a bear thinking that when the fish goes for the fly he's gonna grab the fish and eat it.

 

At the same time there is a hunter thats gonna drop his sandwich and shoot the bear when it goes for the fish.

 

But at the same time there's a mouse thats gonna take the hunters sandwich when the hunter goes to shoot the bear.

 

And there's a cat who at the same time is thinking he's gonna run over and eat the mouse when it goes for the sandwich.

 

So this all happens at the same time and the cat ends up falling into the lake.

 

So what is the moral of this story?

 

"When the fly goes down six inches the pussy always gets wet"

[Prometheon]

What's it called when Albert Einstein masturbates?

 

A stroke of genius.

[Computer]

So a baby seals walk into a club...

[sodamntired]

a priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar

and the priest asks:

what is this, a joke?

[sodamntired]

I like my coffee like I like my women.

black and

 

chopped up and in my freezer.

[WalrusMeat]

What do anal sex and spinach have in common?

 

If they're forced on children when they're young, they won't learn to like it as they grow older.

[Doormat]

A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is ruining his family.

 

What did the deaf, dumb and blind kid get for Christmas?

 

Cancer

 

 

Why did the ladies love Jesus?

 

Because he was hung like this (insert crucifix).

[Prometheon]

Doormat:

 

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

 

 

The Holocaust.

[LonelyWreckage]

Debatable tbh.

[Sparq]

Can't do a set-up joke. Specialty is obscure sexual innuendo and double/triple/quadruple entendres.

[Prometheon]

Can't do a set-up joke. Specialty is obscure sexual innuendo and double/triple/quadruple entendres.

 

 

Edit: Lame, you can't see the text. Just read this (and then the whole comic, cuz it's amazing):

 

http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=545

Edited May 1, 2009 by Prometheon

[Sparq]

Classy. Though I find fish taco easier to work with than Soft taco. In retrospect, I'm not certain why.