God, that formatting is disgusting. Slops on sodamntired for not cleaning it up, and slops on everyone else for just copying it. I haven't read most of these for that very reason. Hopefully this looks better:
Be 15 minutes late to everything, or be an hour early to everything?
Waiting around for an hour would suck, so even though I'm usually early, I'd need to choose being late for this one.
Be Captain of the Enterprise, or have your own Klingon?
"Have my own" Klingon? I don't condone slavery or ownership.
Drink an ounce of Jessica Alba's urine in order to sleep with her, or not?
Honestly, if no one would know about the urine thing, being able to say "I slept with Jessica Alba" is pretty powerful stuff. But if it were in front of me I'd probably sing a different tune.
Be a parapalegic who can see, or a blind person who can walk?
Definitely blind. I like movement.
Be able to communicate with all animals, or be able to read the minds of the opposite sex?
Mind reading is definitely more powerful and practical. I could use it to seduce Jessica Alba without needing to drink her urine. With that said, the animal thing may actually be the better choice, because you could train animals a lot easier and maybe end up being super rich because you have a sweet Vegas show...
Have sex with the 18 year old Britney Spears only one time, or the present day Britney Spears whenever you feel like it?
Meg's answer was perfect. Two weeks ago I would have chosen the second one, but I'm currently bordering on over-sexed, so I'd choose the Britney in her prime.
Be James Bond for a day, or be Hugh Hefner for a day?
Neither. I'm not skilled enough to perform as James Bond without dying, and Hugh Hefner is old.
That's the thing with these questions. Some are fucking stupid. When people say "communicate with animals" they assume the animals will talk just like people. But animals are dumb. And if you could "be" James Bond or Hefner, do they mean like...a guest in their head, or just your own mind in their body and circumstances? It's not well thought out.
If you were James Bond for a day you'd probably fucking die, because you lack all of his skills and training. And if you could talk to animals, what use would it be if 95% of them only had "food! sex! scared...climb tree!" to say?