RicardoObviouso

two years ago i went as a park ranger dressed up as a sasquatch and my buddy went as a sasquatch dressed up as a park ranger, a la the kokanee commercials. ever since then we've been trying to think of something equally as brilliant. p.s. we won $2500 each for that one.

i used to have a boring job. then i stopped showing up and my distractive personality used towards better things has actually made myself and my genuises more money. only problem is, i dont get to explain what my penis is doing at every moment to my assistant anymore, which kind of sucks.

buy one, get one for $140.

i have NEVER lost my car keys. its something i'm quite proud of.

i miss my head

key word being sometimes.

i miss real motivation, the excitement of a new relationship, i miss trying to get business and keeping it, having to be there, golf, crazy lunches, flirting, not knowing where i was, self destruction, the comfort of far-from-perfect, i miss struggling and the drive to make things work out. good fucking thread, mr. haugen.

its great. shes the only thing that motivates me to actually show up in the mornings, now that the office is fully self sufficient. and chad, shes not for rent... but here's the only PG picture i have of her for you to look at:

im suprised it doesnt work on windows 3.1

i have two easton stealth hockey sticks sitting in my garage that are pissing me off. i've never used them. they are easton's best hockey stick. they are both right handed, they are both 85 flex and they are both sakic curve. neither of them have been used EVER. so basically you'll be getting a BRAND NEW $289 hockey stick for... lets say.... $120 each. im feeling generous. also, i will take you for a ride around the block in my girlfriend's sweet 2001 honda civic with no stereo. it has 17" wheels though. 2 easton stealth right handed sakic 85 flex. brand new. $120each.

i didnt even know there was still such a thing as a trackball mouse.

i already have them. thats why she requested. and chad, i asked her in an msn conversation. our entire relationship is based on emoticons, ketel-one vodka and sex.

normally i dont care, but today i asked my assistant what she wanted for her birthday and she responded with "fitted egyptian cotton bed sheets for my matris" yeah.... matris. i almost fired her.

fuck i hate computers. theres this guy named norman that i pay $10/hr to help with computer stuff in my office. he's worth it, because annabella and i fuck up our computers at least twice a day.

fuck that show was awesome. im a little hung over.

my mum woke me up frantically trying to tell me "we're under attack!" we both sat in front of the tv from that moment on until maybe two days later. flipping between cnn and every other channel... in shock.

i've never been to disneyland/world. that shit NEVER interested me. as for the whole fingerprinting thing, i find it slightly overboard and i'm sure i could come up with a conspiracy theory about it over a bottle of red with adam... but i'm afraid of whats at the bottom of that bottle.

just search it, email them and tell them the kind of work you're looking for and they'll line you up. the reason why you're seeing warehouse jobs all over the place is because they have high turnaround and no time, so they use the agency to line up employees. the agency gets paid based on the quality people being recruited. if you can become buddy-buddy with someone on staff they'll get you a great job. the reason why i hire an agency to do my hiring is because i have no time to be interviewing people and making decisions and for the most part the recruiters that work for the agency have seen more and done more interviews than i have so they have a better guage (which is why its good to become friends) of the applicants. they use their own discretion most of the time. i basically laid down some minimum requirements and then basically said "i can make exceptions if the person is really really eager or has a personality that is unique" so if you go in there and blow the recruiter away, he'll be more likely to remember you when something comes up.

how come the fuckin thing doesnt work?

apply for jobs, follow up and show interest. your resume doesnt mean shit if they like your drive and determination. if that doesnt seem to be working, submit your resume to a placement agency -- i've never hired a person in my life, and i have 7 great employees

of course they can, robin.

adam is going to turn into a college slut. hopefully.

i didnt do it. i'm a sucker. i've never done anything so scandalous before and probably never will.

details? details have never been a part of my life.

opium and time.