Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter

[CaptainRocket]

Just rented this tonight and it is so awesome! Hilarious in a bad movie way. I thought it was super old until I realized it was the camera quality.

 

Basically, Jesus has already returned to Earth and is asked to kill a horde (coven?) of lesbian-slaying vampires. That's right, the vampires kill lesbians. Jesus teams up with giant Mexican wrestler El Santos to defeat them once and for all.

 

And all set in our nation's capital, Ottawa!

 

check it out and give it your love. give it to Jesus.

[Dan #3]

An Ex-Girlfriend told me about this movie and I've wanted to see it ever since, I've yet to see it anywhere however.

[CaptainRocket]

Check out any alternative video places you may have, otherwise you might have to order it.

[Dan #2]

The Power of Christ Impales You.

[umboula]

I saw it on the Independant Film Channel a few months ago.

Holy motherfuck was it ever hilarous.

[static]

Shit i've wanted to see this movie for a long time but no mainstream video stores in my area have it. And i don't know of any alternative ones. But i HAVE read the quotes. And this one's hilarious:

 

God: Jesus...

Jesus Christ: Is that you, bowl of cherries?

God: Do bowls of cherries talk, Jesus?

[borntohula]

man this movie sounds golden... i have to see it. if its as hilariously bad as "dracula 3000", ill love it.

[mrs jesus]

Just rented this tonight and it is so awesome! Hilarious in a bad movie way. I thought it was super old until I realized it was the camera quality.

 

Basically, Jesus has already returned to Earth and is asked to kill a horde (coven?) of lesbian-slaying vampires. That's right, the vampires kill lesbians. Jesus teams up with giant Mexican wrestler El Santos to defeat them once and for all.

 

And all set in our nation's capital, Ottawa!

 

check it out and give it your love. give it to Jesus.

nigga please, i give my love to jesus nightly.

 

twice on his birthday, and thrice on samhain.

[borntohula]

do you ever throw the collection plate at him after you're done?

[mrs jesus]

no, but he likes it when you smack his ass with it

[borntohula]

my how the mighty have fallen.