little miss sunshine

Pft...one of my preceptors at school last year asked me "What can we do about your glass half empty mentality?" I said it was simple, fill my fucking glass up for once. I'm just saying life blows alot sometimes. Alot of times I have reason to be all negativ-y. But I'm trying to be better!

I keep having these weird medical-type dreams where I either have asthma or diabetes or something. Last night I had a dream where I was on American Gladiators and I was playing Assault and when the smokescreen came up, I had an asthma attack and passed out. Odd.

I loved the movie but I did get irritated with the 'indie' soundtrack.

Somehow me and two of my friends were in trouble and the police were going to take us away. I said "Wait a sec, I just need to change my shirt". I then proceeded to try and take my shirt off all sexy but it kept getting caught and I couldn't get it off. Then I woke up.

With regards to being scared to run outside...I run on a secluded trail behind my house, alone, all the time. People have told me it's not safe and I should have mace or something. I always tell them they are crazy. After that girl in Georgia who went hiking with her dog last week, went missing and has now had her bloody clothes found, I'm not so sure I don't agree anymore.

When I was still in school, I would go shopping for clothes on boxing day and stock up on stuff for the rest of the year. I would find awesome deals and be in and out of the mall by 11am. The mall would be crowded but never pushing or shoving. Now I have a job and will buy clothes whenever I please throughout the year so I slept in and didn't go this year.

I'm going to buy tickets in the next few days (for Detroit)

I have pregnancy dreams quite a bit. One time in a pregnancy dream, it was my Mom who told me I was pregnant. Kinda like how Meg got told. You're thinking "Shouldn't I know about this first?" lol

Gave: -Prelit Christmas tree to the boyfriend, latest Bourne movie and tonnes of chocolate -Long johns, turtlenecks and mini Christmas village with working train to my Dad -lots of clothes for my nephew and a Leap Frog learning toy -burned CD of "Bud Light Real Men of Genius" and a GC for National Sports for my brother Got: -DVD player and the first season of "How I Met Your Mother" -GC for a pedicure -Shirt that says "It's not my fault you suck" -Shirt that says "Heavily Medicated for your consideration" -or something like that -GC for dinner places -Mortar and pestle -bunch of little things Best present: My Dad asks people to donate money in my Mom's honour to the hospital. This year, my Aunt, Uncle and Cousin are doing a fundraiser in her name. They are going to canvas for donations for every goal my cousins high school soccer team gets this season with a goal of raising $5000 for the Trillium Gift of Life Network in time for the April Organ donation awareness week.

I think this family is the epitome of the premise behind the movie "Idiocrasy". Everyone should watch this movie.

lol, Maury. I have never understood getting knocked up at 16. I don't even think at 16 you have enough emotional maturity to be having sex. And obviously, she doesn't know how to properly use birth control. Loser.

I detest BK.

The banner is pretty sweet. FYI - if there is a members paint one again, I would like to be in it. Pretty please with sugar on top?

I will be at the Detroit show. Awesomesauce.

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of my friends is always, sad or disappointed or something crying for attention.

I liked it and saw them in concert. He voice kinda sucks live, though (even though he had great energy)

Chocolate from the boyfriends schools semi-formal. They had leftover!

You show up at random times, shade. How is Londy?

Yes, I do enjoy my Matt Good. I'm just dissapointed I couldn't go see him the last few times he has been around. Stupid being too depressed to try and buy tickets when they went on sale the day of my Mom's funeral. Then this last tour...that was just another can of worms.

Apparently the problem with my connection was something about the module they put on my roof. It's an old module (why the fuck did they not set me up with the newer one?) but it is using newer software so he had to disable something (sounded like he said mats?). Several times a day I would lose my connection, the computer would say my connection was back but it was something crazy like 136.259.101.101.329(Waaaaayyyy too many numbers) and I would not be able to get on the internet. So, I would have to turn the computer off and unplug the line or release and renew on DOS. I believe I am paying WAY too much to have to do that 3-4 times a day. Fuckers. I have anger issues with them.

Kinda on subject - I can't believe the wide range of knowledge in tech support bases. My own experience with my internet for the past 2 months is a prime example: I don't know much about computers but I can learn and I'm really not a moron. But, it took over 2 months, 12 calls, 3 e-mails and 3 visits by an installer (and an unnecessary installation of a $100 tripod and tower to my roof) to get my internet up and running (at least for the past 24 hours - fingers crossed). I believe this is in part to having to speak to 'level 1' techs almost every time I called that either thought they could solve my problem and didn't need to transfer me to level 2 or they simply refused when I asked (because telling me to reboot my fucking computer and then saying 'well, it works' is a fucking solution). I shouldn't have to turn my computer on and off and unplug my connection every day, let alone 3-4 times a day. But, the nice guy I talked to yesterday seems to have solved my problem, although I will not believe it until I have uninterrupted service for about a week. At the point, I will be calliing customer service/billing to ask now for my 2 free months of service I was promised because the initial 2 months I got free, was not actually service but aggravation to me. I will also be getting some sort of compensation for them sending out the installer who screwed me out of $100. I hate these people (not IT but the internet provider).

I just feel that it's a disservive to 'the public' if he wants to be a champion or advocate or whatever you want to call if for mental disease to not be honest the ramifications of said disease. He has been very vocal as of late about the subject and I give him kudos for that. But, in my pharmaceutically informed professional opinion, calling it a 'slip up' is pretty careless on his part. I'm not saying he needs to make his whole life public, it just seems hypocritical to want to talk about one aspect of a disease (the diagnosis and manifestations precluding that) but not another (suicidality or thoughts thereof). I understand that whether or not that was the case, he might not want to mention it because the more influential side of his fanbase might look at it differently or have different ideas on the subject (ie - more of a permanent solution to a fixable problem rather than the manifestation of mental illness).

Yeah, I was pretty confused when he said something like taking more kept making him more euphoric? It didn't really make sense to me. Especially when you're drinking alcohol with it. I mean, you would feel good (at first) but then there is this little thing called unconsciousness that should follow WAY before 45mg. Mind you, I'm not judging, just confuseful (new word - score!)

I just have a hard time with taking 45mg of Ativan as a 'slip up'.